I Have Sinned
For Gareth, the best part of being gay is not subscribing to the Christian paradigm of monogamy. Or marriage. Or meaningful romantic connections of any kind. So, when he fears he’s falling for a Catholic deacon, he does what “all gay men” do, he ghosts.
It’s a fool proof plan that’s only scuppered by the crying appearance of… his teenaged self. The hopelessly romantic altar boy has troubles of his own, and they’ll need each other to become what they always were, one person.
Where it Began
‘I Have Sinned’ has had many, many, WONDERFUL iterations over the course of the last couple of years. While the content has shifted more than the Canon Law of the Catholic Church, the core has remained the same.
Like most of my scripts, it began as something intensely autobiographical, the story of a gay man with a checkered sexual history and a devoutly Catholic youth that he struggles to reconcile with. Probably because I wasn’t ready to fully confront that, I filled the initial draft with anecdotes and fictional padding. Padding such as a therapy subplot where the protagonist (initially a prolific child therapist specialising in rehabilitating child criminals) helped a young man escape from the indoctrination of his previous gang affiliation (it’s like poetry. It rhymes).
Because I felt like my writing was going nowhere, I decided to make the story a one-person show. If push came to shove, I could perform it myself. It would also mean a smaller venue, cheaper production, all making it more likely to happen.
After a year of beating the script within an inch of its life, I did something stupid. I submitted the latest draft, which hadn’t been read by anyone, to the BBC Open Call.
I didn’t win.
I also can’t submit it again. Despite the fact it’s SO MUCH BETTER now.
But that’s the kernel of where it began. In August 2024, something changed.
Edinburgh Fringe 2024
It’s cliche to say, but I’ll be damned if the Fringe didn’t completely change my writing forever.
‘Good Boy’, written and performed by James Farley, was a beautiful, raw, hilarious, and tragic show which taught me something that years of hearing about it could never get through.
Be specific.
After watching the show, and after somewhat emotionally recovering, I stripped ‘I Have Sinned’ back to its absolute bare bones, and I started again.
Within three months, I had a draft which has become the foundation on which I’ve built the show since.
One More Thing.
Then You Can Read.
In February 2025, I did a closed reading, here’s some assets I made to improve the audience experience
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What show is complete without music? This playlist was used for ambient sound as the audience enter, and played in the background during the interval and after the show. Have a listen to get a flavour for the tone!
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The Program is designed to resemble an 'order of service', and came complete with hymns in the form of slutty gay songs and a full itinerary for the fictional mass.
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This is the back page of the 'order of service', showcasing how the staging would likely be laid out. The chair is actually modelled on the one my priest had on the altar of my local church growing up. Fun fact, there.
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PROOF! Undeniable proof! It happened! Here's me and my biggest fan reading the play on the night!
Okay, go for it. Here’s scene 01 for you!
